recently i was blessed with the opportunity to be a YL leader, and 3 weeks ago i was placed at Blacksburg High School. a couple things i would like to say about this:
1. although i had no reason for BHS to be on my heart, before i got placed there, it was. all throughout the training process i had been praying for an open heart and mind. i didn't want to be one of those leaders that was going to be disappointed in the ministry they got placed with, because being placed onto a ministry team is something to rejoice in, regardless of where it is. in the last two weeks before placement though, i was worried about why BHS was on my heart. but looking back, i truly believe that the Lord placed BHS on my heart, and was already preparing me for ministry in that school. it has been really sweet to be in a situation where it is clear that the Lord instilled that desire upon me, very plain and simply.
2. i love BHS. already. its kind of nuts. i was at WalMart with some friends and they had hoodies and sweatpants from BHS, and when i said that i was going to buy that stuff.....i wasn't kidding. i think everyone thought i was though.
3. it reminds me of my high school, and i like that. it intimidates me a lot though, which i like as well.
leading has already been a blessing, a whirlwind. the first two weeks were filled with tears. exam upon exam, and a schedule that was more demanding than it had been in a very long time. not to mention no one was used to it, so my friends were non-existent during this time. everyone had their own life to try to keep up with. but the Lord brought me through it. i would describe those two weeks as just laying at His feet, crying out to Him to take my hand and lead me through it. and He did, beautifully. i'm not an uncomfortable person, but the first few instances of leading are uncomfortable for anyone. the first club was hard. there is no denying that. it was frustrating to me that i didn't know anyone, that i didn't have a purpose and that i wasn't "connecting" with girls. why didn't they want to talk to me? why did they look for chances to escape conversations? was i not loving them well? but i got through it. with prayer and trust, i was carried through it. the first week was just bizarre. new places, new people, new schedules. thankfully the older girl on my team is a joy, and so blessed when it comes to ministry. it comes so naturally to her, and she's so loved. being her shadow was super beneficial, and eventually the week passed. the second week was similar, but not as uncomfortable. this time i knew names and faces at club, i knew who the campaigners were and i was more comfortable in the environment. the new leaders went to a soccer game by ourselves, and though it wasn't a super encouraging time, it was fun to feel like we were really doing it, we were really doing this. then on sunday, we texted 3 freshmen to come hang out and chat....3 that we didn't know plus two that we texted showed up, and we were so shocked. i don't know why i don't expect answers from the Lord sometimes. it was a time of giggling and not really talking about anything at all, but it was so sweet. it was the beginning, and that was enough for me. Taylor (my sweet teammate) and i left for leadership in high spirits, and pumped up for this week.
it's funny to me how the Lord knows what we need, and He knows how to get it for us. this week has been a joy, a pure joy. club was a blast. we took Meg (a new freshmen friend) to campaigners for her first time this week. we went to the school on our own for the first time, and knew every girl's name. every. single. one. every girl that we had ever met, whether it be at club or campaigners or our sunday hangouts, we knew every name. if that isn't a victory, i don't know what is. the Lord is so good. there is no way i would know every name, and it was so encouraging that the Lord was standing next to the us in the school. He's helping us in every battle, every fight. He will never leave it to us, and for that i am indescribably thankful. on top of the many blessings that have been given this week, school has been a breeze. i've never been so caught up on work or doing so well on assignments. i'm actually bored. its freaking me out. and the weather is nice. i mean, honestly i'm not sure nothing else could be going right. and this extra time has allowed me to take my beach towel out to my secret quad and lay in the sunshine, soak up the smell of sweet spring time, and be nourished by the Lord. without a time limit. without other work demanding my attention. that time for me is so intimate, so true. He has given me a week to be refreshed, to rejoice, to relax, and to be reassured. reassured that there will be weeks that bring tears, that seem as if they could not go any worse. in those times He will carry me through, He will lead me. if i give my everything to Him, He will protect it. He will guard it. He will keep me safe, and He will see me through. i was also reassured that though there will be the bad, there will also be the good. He will give me times that allow me to take a step back. He will give me time to breathe.
i never want to forget this part of leading. this experience of not trying to do it on my own. i pray that i will never try to do it on my own. i want to always be led. i want to always be confident only in the Lord. i want to be vulnerable with Him. i want to be real, genuine, humbled, broken at His feet. always. i've never felt so incapable, and i love it. i adore it.
pray for Blacksburg High School. pray for kids to sign up for camp. pray for the finances to send them. pray for 25 campaigners to catch the vision and run after their friends. the Lord is moving in the NRV, and its beautiful.
m.
