it was the kind of moment only time could kill

wowsers. what a break it has been so far, and man oh man it's flying. so many great things have happened, so i guess i'll start from the beginning. 

fall weekend was a success....and that's an understatement.  no matter how expectantly i pray, no matter how high i set the bar, the Lord always blows it out of the water, and i'm so thankful for that. to start off my weekend, i'm greeted by girls i had no idea were coming for the weekend. girls that i had been praying for to come, and i had no idea they were able to come until i got there. so right from the get-go, i knew i was in for a wild ride. my cabin was awesome. i loved them. i didn't want the weekend to end with them. they were a joy to lead. 9 freshmen girls and myself, and they were a joy. i was blessed enough to get one of those cabins that ends up staying together 24/7, and there was never more than half an hour that we were all apart.  that in itself is a huge, great, awesome thing for a group of girls all in the same grade, all with the potential to catch a vision, grow, learn, ask questions, and change the school. and they can do it. the weekend was superb, and i couldn't have asked for better. and one of the great traits of the Lord is that He is everywhere. i mean everywhere. not only was He working in my cabin, but He was doing awesome things all over camp. saturday night was where the snowball started. saturday night i prayed with one of my girls to accept Christ. not only is this a precious new addition to our wonderful family, but it just so happens i had been praying for her for almost a year after she refused to go on a wyldlife fall weekend. she has started a brilliant new life, and i'm so excited to encourage and watch her, even if it is from a distance. after a lightning fast cabin clean up (yeah, my girls even cleaned up), i watched lost kids proclaim that they were found. and it was a blessing. the say-so is always inspiring, always makes me sob, and always reminds me how huge our calling is. this say-so was different from all the ones i've watched before. i have never seen more campers continue to stand up. just when we thought we were done, 3 more kids would stand up. and that repeated....several several times. the Lord was still working in those kids hearts. He showed them what they needed to see, He let them hear what they needed to hear. He never stops pursuing them. it was beautiful. i also felt the say-so personally. 2 boys from our high school stood up, boys that people would say were beyond help. kids that got into fights, drugs, and drinking. broken boys. but they're now fixed. and they're home. then 4 boys and girls i had been praying for over the past couple of months stood up. the Lord has been so so gracious in showing me prayers that He answers, and i felt like He was just continuing to teach me, continuing to show me, and using the transformation of lives to show me. He teaches us in the best ways doesn't He? so fall weekend was great. and i mean great. 

my Oma has come in, and she's awesome. my parents moved across the country when they were younger, so my sister and i haven't gotten to spend much time with her so it's been so fun that she's here now. we love her, and she's going to be here for a couple weeks, party party party!






as for seeing friends, it hasn't happened much. i've seen two of my best friends, but i haven't run into anyone. i guess that's what happens when i'm never in Roanoke, even when home. i haven't done any homework, and it's going to bite me in the butt, and i don't care. i love being lazy, being with my family, sitting on my sisters bed, staying up late talking to people, listening to music, just everything except school. i'm going to have to face it some time this weekend, and i really don't want that to happen. but oh well, i guess that's life. only 2 and a half more weeks of school. i can do it. i can do it. i can do it. 

i really don't want this break to end....is that bad?

 

you got a fast car, i want a ticket to anywhere

I'M HOME! and i'm stoked, if you couldn't tell. the 24 hours i've been home have been fantastic. freaking out over flannels with caroline, sitting on my sister's bed catching up. precious moments with precious people that i've dearly dearly missed. it's nuts though, because i'm all packed up again. i'm going to fall weekend. the first fall weekend that i get to lead, is with my high school, my sister, my best friend, and my freshie babies. i'm so blessed. i'm so excited. 

i was just at RAS last weekend for workcrew weekend with the 61 other freshmen involved in freshmen fellowship, and it was off the chain.VT ran the camp. for real. the entire workcrew was VT freshmen, the wc bosses were juniors from tech that lead us, the program team were juniors from tech, the band were from tech, and the speaker was the leader at tech. it was so surreal to see the entire camp run by familiar faces, but i think it was really great for the community back at school. i didn't make any new best friends, but i just got comfortable. and thats super major for me, so that's a bonus. i got switched to server right when i got there, originally i was supposed to be a pm cook (i love being a cook). i was decently nervous, but i knew that the Lord would use me how He desired, and if i was supposed to drop something in order for a kid to see my vulnerability then i would drop my tray in a heartbeat. it ended up that i only dropped 10 packets of sugar, boo yah.

busing tables with my girl TmoneyZ.

but man, my arms were so sore. so sore. and very unexpected. the coolest thing though, by far, was watching girls from one of my tables stand up at the say-so. i've been both a housekeeper and an am cook on workcrew, so i'm used to being behind the scenes. i'm used to praying over rooms and food, but i would never see who ate the food or be in the rooms, and that is different as a server. i prayed over my tables before every meal, and then i would get to serve and interact with the ones i just prayed for. the cumulative 4 minutes they probably spent with me meant nothing to them, but they meant everything to me. though i had no idea where they were in their walk before the weekend, or even before every meal, i got to see the finished product. i'm not sure if i had any effect on the girls, but they sure had effect on me. 

and now i'm headed back to the same place that teaches me so much everytime i'm there. but this time i'm going as a Young Life leader. not a camper, not a Wyld Life leader, not a Housekeeper or AM Cook or Server, not a Young Life junior leader. i'm going as a Young Life leader. and that excites me. that gets me hype. so pray for us this weekend, huge things are going to happen, for the Lord is with us. 

m.

you're hot and you're cold

greetings from da burg. the weather here is bipolar. honestly. today its freezing, yesterday i was getting warm sitting on the top of chapel. MAKE UP YOUR MIND. but i'm lovin today. i've gotten past all my classes and my dreadful parts of the week, and now the weekend is ahead. this weekend we're goin to RAS for some classic workcrew weekend action, and i'm stoked. it's gonna be great. but that's in the future, so i'll focus on the now/past.

this week i was thoroughly blessed with the opportunity to help out with Giles club. it was sweet, and it was exactly what i expected. once you've been around YL for awhile, you've kind of got it all figured out. and that's not confident, because i don't consider myself an expert at all, but things pretty much operate the same way. what i loved about it though, was it showed me what it looks like to be in charge. what it looks like to really lead from the college perspective. i've been really blessed with my experiences leading. i've put together clubs and have been running them with other campaigners for two years, but i've always taken for granted that my girls are all in my area. that makes contact work freakin easy. if you're on the Giles team, it's thirty minutes to get there. thirty minutes. an hour of driving to get there and back. thats a lot of time, and money, just to get there. obviously that's not an ideal situation, but what i loved about going to Giles was that i realized that it's okay with me. honestly, Christ and those kids are so worth it. they are SO worth it. i've also found out in the past couple of days that there are only about 15 spots open for placement of freshmen. and with 50 kids in LT, that's not a lot. and even though i want to lead so much, even though i've never felt more on track with my walk, i'm at complete peace about the whole situation. why stress out? those who should lead, will get placed. those that are called to something else, won't. big deal. the Lord will use me in anything and everything He has planned for me, and odds are it'll blow my mind regardless of what it is. and i'm pumped for that. i just kind of wish everyone in LT would calm down. there is such a competitive vibe going down, and i really do not approve. it's as if everyone is trying to prove how "holy" and "deep" and "mature" they are, as if they have to prove their faith. i don't like it. live out your heart, and your faith should show through. it's not a competition, its a calling. it's making me chuckle, but i really would love if everyone would just relax and be real. and not that intimidating real, but genuine, sincere, selfless real.
my bstud is pretty real, and i like that. aren't they cool/gorgeous? yeah, i get to hang out with them on a regular basis.

anyway. friends, be you. please? just be you. be real. you don't have to prove yourselves, the Lord knows your heart and has a plan so much wilder than you could ever imagine. and it's going to be the most adventurous wonderful thing of you life.

oh and don't forget...

"child, you're forgiven and loved." -- Jimmy Needham

m.

chatterbox?

sometimes i feel like talking. just talking and talking and talking and talking and talking. about nothing. to no one in particular. just talking. just dying for someone to hear me, and to understand. i wish i could draw a picture of my heart, and my mind, and my thoughts. sometimes it goes a mile a minute and i can't comprehend or even begin to express everything that's going on inside, i just want to run around screaming. in a good, fun, weird way. that's how i am right now. so i'm going to write a list of things i enjoy, the things i call blessings. if you want to get the full effect, put on some ben rector pandora and enjoy. life is so sweet. 

• laying on warm grass with sun shining down, so all around you're warm
• walking barefoot (you can't really do this in college without people giving you disgusted looks, which i must admit, makes it more fun)
• laying on the floor with my legs straight up against the wall, talking and giggling at nonsense
• chapstick on chapped lips
• big sweatshirts
• wearing leggings for a full 24 hours
• bracelets that have meaning
• riding buses (seriously, you should do it sometime. its the coolest)
• pictures pictures pictures pictures
• laying on the floor and being attacked by my two crazy dogs whom i adore
• filling up a journal 
• reading blogs, and i guess writing them
• spending days and days at the lake with my family 
• body pillows
• talking on the phone 
• boys that are intentional 
• windows down and music up 
• vans
• chocolatechocolatechocolate
• lunchables in the kroger parking lot watching the intersection at night
• northface backpacks
• tall socks, i'm obsessed. 
• blankies
• movies that make me cry, and i mean cry
• hammocks 
• ice creammmmmm
• when the temperature of the lake is just below the temperature outside, so you can splash and play all you want and then get out and never be cold
• hot chocolate and fires, at the same time
• cuddling with my cat

well, there are many, many more things, but i'm late. surprise surprise. 
try seeing the blessings in every little thing today, i bet you'll be pleasantly surprised by how many you find. He gives us a great life, sometimes we just need to open our eyes and see it. 


m.

there ain't nothing wrong with all the places that i've been

here's another disclaimer: 

i love school. most everything about it is perfect for me, literally perfect. but there is nothing like my home. i know some people are thrilled to be gone, and don't care the next time they come back. but i mean, in all seriousness, how could i feel that way when i have the people i do back home? 

i went home this weekend, and it was really sad to leave. honestly. i went to the football game, against our rivals (but mainly sister school) and it went into like quadruple overtime and we won, it was nuts. it wasn't that i still want to be in high school, that's not it at all. i love that i had that time, and although i wish it would've lasted longer, i don't have a desire to go back. i feel called to lead now. for real lead. not just junior lead in my school anymore, i want to be a YL leader. i want it so bad. but anyways, i got to to the game, walked into middle school territory, and quite frankly i didn't want to come out. i saw probably 10 of my middle school girls, and i could. not. get. enough. they are so precious to me. i wish i could explain to them how much i cherish them, but unfortunately words just won't do. i was amazed they still wanted to talk to me quite frankly, i'm just some college girl that moved away now, and wants to hang around with them every time i come home. i'd be freaked out if i were them. but then i went to the student section and saw probably 10 more girls that i adore. i was so overwhelmed. i am so blessed that these girls still get excited to see me, because i cannot stop smiling when i'm around them. they do so much more for me than i do for them, i'm so sure of it. one thing i hate though, is that there isn't enough time. i can't one by one take them out for lunch or go on a drive, there isn't enough time. i can't know their hearts. i'm going to fix that over christmas break. i'm hyped. 

as if the game wasn't a blessing enough, saturday the freshie babies, caroline and i hit the road to hike. and hike we did. and i finally got quality time with the girls that inspire me every day. the girls that i've watched grow into beautiful young ladies of Christ for the past year and a half. they have such an intense place in my heart, they were my first girls, and i will be at their graduations, and weddings if i get invited. why these girls still want to hang out with me is a mystery to me, but i know Christ is the foundation of our everything. here's some evidence of these girls and this humbling hike. 

girls, we're behind you. we have faith in you. we're blessed to be in your life.

all around, every direction, views that bring me to my knees and humble my heart.

F.R.O.G. and stick together, you will change our school.

thanks for not getting sick of me yet, cause i can't get enough of you.

i'm so thankful for you caroline. thanks for being a trooper and sharing this with us.

after an afternoon like this, i didn't want to go home. but i found out the next day that i am going to be blessed with the honor of leading at my high school's fall weekend. which means that i can be at their first fall weekend. i can't thank the Lord enough. i'm so beyond blessed. i'm so hyped. i would go this instant if i could. i can't wait to be leading them again. heck, i can't wait to be leading again, and i can't believe i'm going to be lucky enough to be with my high school, with my girls. i don't know who i'm leading yet, or what's going to happen or any of the details, but i'm super stoked. 


1 Corinthians 9:19 -- "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible." 

go get em

i'm really trying to pursue the girls on my hall. and i use the word pursue for a reason. i came into school this year dying to find fellowship. my community at home is da bomb, and i was so nervous about not finding it. i wasn't very trusting. but i lived, learned, and now things are great. but at the beginning of the year, i turned my back on my hall. i didn't engage and take time to meet them because they were always partying, and for some reason my mission mind was turned off, and i hate that. those were the girls i should've started hanging out with! and i'm so bummed that i was stupid when i got here, i was being so selfish. ugh its disgusting. but, i've been really convicted to go get these girls, and things have been going very slowly. the Lord has been teaching patience in all aspects of my life, and that's a lesson i always need to be reminded of, and so i keep telling myself to slow down, it won't all happen at once. i've been praying and looking for an opportunity to get closer with them, and then He provided. it's amazing what happens when life is truly left to Him. i love it, and i'm so thankful that college has shown me that in so many cases. 

Hall Dinner - 5 pm, D2. i was jazzed. and it was weird, because i never look at my RA's door cause i don't usually go down her side of the hall, but i had to cause the other bathroom was being cleaned and i needed to shower. amazing how every little thing plays in isn't it? well, i was nervous all day. i asked my small group to pray for me. i was going alone, and although i love putting myself in situations i have to rely on the Lord to get me through, i still get scared. it's getting better, but i still get nervous. but i went. and it was great. nothing major happened, no one was converted over chicken nuggets, but i learned faces. then the next day, i was at the empo and a girl from dinner was sitting beside me. gosh i love the empo. and i started conversation with her. 


but time is flying. like really flying. we have 4 more weeks of fall semester. then i only have spring semester left til we all move out. i'm praying expectantly. big things are going to happen. pray for my floor, pray for my courage, pray for me to be bold, and pray for me to take advantage of the opportunities in front of me. i gotta go get em. 


2 Timothy 1:7 - "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."