and so it begins. the friends have started to leave. school is approaching quickly, and along with that comes so many changes. the one i'm dealing with right now, is one of my dear sisters. she's leaving for school in Europe, with only one for sure idea of when she'll be back. i'll see her in May, but that could be it. she's leaving tomorrow, and although i've spent most of the weekend with her, and i'll be at the airport, it still hasn't hit me.
i don't handle relationship changes well, unless they're for the better. i'm someone that is easily content, but if things in a relationship decline even in the slightest bit, i get upset. and now, one of my best friends, is moving halfway around the world. yes, i am slightly worried about a decline in our friendship. like every relationship, it's had it's ups and downs, but man oh man the things i would do for that girl. i don't think she'll ever realize either, the phenomenal impact she's had in my life. maybe someday i'll try to properly communicate it, but since i don't even know where to start right now i think i'll have to wait.
but as freaked out i am that she's leaving, i'm so so excited for her. this is such a fresh start, such a clean slate. she can go and witness to an entire new continent for pete's sake! that's so incredible, and such a blessing. as i've thought about it though, i've realized that we all can. so what if i'm only going 45 minutes away? honestly i'm thrilled. i know that all along i've been living my life, but suddenly it's as if i'm holding the pen to writing my own story, whereas before i've just been acting the script as best as possible. that's such a sweet feeling. and i feel as if the past year or two have really been teaching and showing me what i want my life to look like. what i want to grow up to be. but it's so cool, because right now everything is unwritten.
m.
